The Top Ten Ways To Screw-Up A Project... or Stuff Your Boss Knows Instinctively
Chapter 1 - Do Everything Out Of Order. (Ready, Fire, Aim)
Chapter 2 - Disregard Skills and Expertise. Anyone can do anything right? Let’s ask the plumber about electricity, and the surgeon about car repair.
Chapter 3 - Everything Is An Exception. There is no regular method, process or schedule. Ever seen a chinese fire drill? Me neither - but I hear its fun.
Chapter 4 - You Can’t Drive Both Ways On A One Way Street. In other words the help, professionalism and dedication that you give will not be what you get in return...It’s a One-way street - unless you can find a detour. I’ll scratch your back, you.....?
Chapter 5 - Make Ridiculous Requests That Defy Space & Time. Heck you’re important, why should the laws of gravity or time apply to you. I want it, and I want it yesterday - even before I requested it.
Chapter 6 - Stir Continuously! The Soup Is Never Done. Pretend there is no deadline - You can change your mind, you can change your underwear, but you can’t change your tendency to make changes continually. "I know you just printed a gazillion copies, but I just noticed that..."
Chapter 7 - Dilute The Power of the Art. Form follows function, but function can suffocate form. Beware of trying to say too much or please too many people and achieving the lowest common denominator impact.
Chapter 8 - No Accountability. They may have started this train a rollin, but now that the brakes have failed and it seems you are on a collision course with The Black Powder Mine, all those opinion givers and decision makers are hopping off at break-neck speed, as they yell one last thing - We need it Monday!
Chapter 9 - Design By Committee. (See the duck-billed platypus) Opposite of cohesive, unified thought. The need for a champion who will rescue the village from the dragon and unite the townspeople to one goal. Hurrah! Then enters the village idiot.
Chapter 10 – Have A Hidden Agenda. Wait a minute. Are you telling me that this was all about making you feel important? Or showing us all who’s boss, Or making sure that your position is secure, Or impressing someone else…Not what is best for the company?! Last,but not least common – this one can sink the best laid plans of mice and men, not to mention rats and robots.